Christmas Shopping for the Gifted
Standing in long lines, navigating narrow isles with large shopping carts, not to mention people coughing, kids crying and the like are all part and parcel when Christmas shopping.
I have assumed Jedi shopping mentality. It has been working LIKE A CHARM. For example, last night Canada picked me up with her “not a mini-van” and we headed to the GREAT CANADIAN SUPER STORE to help Santa lighten his sleigh load with the purchase of a HUGE games table (air hockey, pool, ping pong).
While waiting for the sales clerk to wheel out this 200lb GW (183lb NW for the record ;-)) I became quite parched and wanted to zoom over to the drink isle which is a short hike to the other side of the store. I knew I wanted Ting and set off on my mission leaving Canada browsing the toy section.
I have my course plotted allowing for quickest return time when sudddenly my plan becomes foiled! I am boxed in! A man at ten o'clock and a couple with a grocery cart at twelve and one o'clock, from the rear a small family close in with a loaded shopping cart. The Christmas isle was a bad choice I admit, but SO much fun to walk through, who could resist?
Then the words come to me: USE THE FORCE NANCY, USE THE FORCE
Mentally I tell the man on my left in my faux British accent “That gift is not appropriate, why am I looking at this, I could be home watching TV, my feet hurt…”
To my utter amazement he suddenly turns and walks past me. One down. Next the couple on my right.
“Yes, this is perfect, put it in the cart, a young and very attractive lady is behind you trying to get by, it's Christmas time, do the right thing and move aside”.
BINGO! Full of apologises and smiles they clear room and I'm by!
Two for two!
Grabbing my Ting and prying the cap off, the delicious contents splashing over my arid mucosa ~ SUCCESS!
I return just in time as the clerk wheels up to Canada with the game table and we set off to “not the mini-van” to load it up.
Jedi shopping is the way to go.
I have assumed Jedi shopping mentality. It has been working LIKE A CHARM. For example, last night Canada picked me up with her “not a mini-van” and we headed to the GREAT CANADIAN SUPER STORE to help Santa lighten his sleigh load with the purchase of a HUGE games table (air hockey, pool, ping pong).
While waiting for the sales clerk to wheel out this 200lb GW (183lb NW for the record ;-)) I became quite parched and wanted to zoom over to the drink isle which is a short hike to the other side of the store. I knew I wanted Ting and set off on my mission leaving Canada browsing the toy section.
I have my course plotted allowing for quickest return time when sudddenly my plan becomes foiled! I am boxed in! A man at ten o'clock and a couple with a grocery cart at twelve and one o'clock, from the rear a small family close in with a loaded shopping cart. The Christmas isle was a bad choice I admit, but SO much fun to walk through, who could resist?
Then the words come to me: USE THE FORCE NANCY, USE THE FORCE
Mentally I tell the man on my left in my faux British accent “That gift is not appropriate, why am I looking at this, I could be home watching TV, my feet hurt…”
To my utter amazement he suddenly turns and walks past me. One down. Next the couple on my right.
“Yes, this is perfect, put it in the cart, a young and very attractive lady is behind you trying to get by, it's Christmas time, do the right thing and move aside”.
BINGO! Full of apologises and smiles they clear room and I'm by!
Two for two!
Grabbing my Ting and prying the cap off, the delicious contents splashing over my arid mucosa ~ SUCCESS!
I return just in time as the clerk wheels up to Canada with the game table and we set off to “not the mini-van” to load it up.
Jedi shopping is the way to go.
Labels: Canada, Christmas shopping, Jedi
8 Comments:
IM GOING TO TRY THIS! ITS SHEER BRILLIANCE! I love canada's denial. ANd Im "not late on the housepayment".
Excuse me, it's NOT denial ladies. We had a minivan for 4 VERY LONG YEARS. Not just a mini minivan, but the extended Dodge Grand Caravan (aka the bus). So, my Ford Freestyle? With no sliding doors? My SUV crossover? I like to make sure it's defined as NOT a minivan. 'Cause it ain't!!!!!!
(yes, I have issues) :)
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
*whispering* hey crse, check it out, more Jeti mind tricks:
Canada, you're absolutely right, it's SO NOT a minivan and much more like a sports car. . . . Only bigger ... And with four doors ... Did I mention how young and sexy you look in it?
Rrrrrrrrrrrrar
It's Jedi with a "d".
"ob1" - Look, I drew out a Star Wars perfectoid to comment with my Jeti powers!
Thanks ob1!
Hey no problemo.
PERFECT-oid :)
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