How do you fly this thing?

Stressful day. One of my admin staff fucked up the AR summary by accidentally adjusting a 1998 posting. This is the GRAND DADDY POOBAH clusterfuckages of all time. That in itself wouldn’t be so bad, but I’m doing interviews while the problem sits unattended to. I enjoy interviews, but the whole thing is draining. This is what’s fucking me up. It’s in my nature to do my best, yet I’m doing my best for a bunch of fuckers who have fired me. Any idea of how difficult it is to try hiring someone (no, it's not for my job - THAT will not happen) and pulling out all the reasons why you they would want to work at our office? Not to mention chosing a candidate that I REALLY believe would be best for them?! I’d love to be all Zen and open-minded like letting the fucking universe shine in one end and beam out the other an all that jazz, but I have a fucking house, a fucking mortgage and a fucking kid to support in the midst of having to make things all fucking nicey-nice for two spineless unappreciative dickheads. I haven’t had to breath this deeply since fourteen hours of labour pains…If it weren’t for my friends the AVENGERS OF JUSTICE and I plotting the complete disablement of their business and timely execution of evil plans tailored to sabotage the staff on the very level of their individual core fears….BWAH AHAHAHAAH! this whole ordeal might have actually began to interfere with me having fun.

Great time to stop smoking eh?

In other news…Packed Little Grunt’s inline skates, protective gear etc to meet him after school, but first I took a nice blast on my mountain bike to see how the trails are drying up. I was DELIGHTED to make it one third of the way down the main artery before hitting a small lake like puddle spanning the entire path with more depth than I was up for today. I might have managed through the forest but time was pressing. Something to look forward to next trip. The route back had me venturing off down my first technical trail of the year and I cannot describe to you in words the sweetness. I like to pretend I’m Princess Leia in Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi when she’s being chased by scout troopers and she escapes on those cool speeder bikes that race through the forest.

In other other news…I am happy to say that my boobs are bigger and I’ve stopped wearing that awful bra that made me feel like I ought to be taking slap shots in the chest. I’ve been eatting like a mad woman since everything I tend to eat burns off pretty quickly. I was checking out my dumper in the mirror – she’s coming along nicely! I tend to put on weight when I’m at my happiest – usually that means a committed relationship. I think it’s the cuddling. Touch etc. Just like babies, they eat more when they are stimulated. Probably how I developed my black belt in cuddling. I read somewhere that a person needs twelve hugs a day. That puts me in a HUGE deficit.

With all that self anaylsis business aside, "Her Highness Tokyo" reminds me that the Cherry Blossoms are in bloom. For me, this is one of the most beautiful sights in the world and I would surely cry given the chance to experience it. She tried to take some pictures to send to me, but they didn’t turn out or the batteries died or something…Sigh. Not to worry. Once the trees are in bloom, I have canapies of blossoms to bike under moving through curtains of fragrance. That's what I have in my own backyard. So there!


Ever since I began those Chinese herbs and green powder in my juice, the anti-oxidants etc I swear I’ve added to the ozone problem. Tomorrow when the very cute accupuncturist and I meet, I wonder how I can break that one to him (no pun). If we laugh as much as we did last time AGAIN this appointment, that would be amazing! It’s when he looks at me and holds my gaze for the moment and the moment longer… Having a crush on someone is so much fun. But I’m beginning to think I date men just to torture them. Sometimes I wonder if anyone could have or would really want to have a relationship with me. I find myself impossible!

How DO you fly this thing?