Friday, April 07, 2006

Woody Soup

An E-Mail from Dad this morning:

Dad: look what I found in my can of Campbell's Seafood Chowder....Not the penny.... the piece of wood... guess who I'm contacting...

Me: Holy shit cakes! The day has come! We've struck it rich!!! Seafood Chowder for LIFE!!!! LOL! How weird!! How gross!! I'm so sorry! Did you bite on it? Yech.

Dad: Yes I did bite on it.... I was wondering what the heck it was, I first thought it was the stem of something so I took it out and put it on a napkin. This morning when I was looking at it again I realised that it looked more like wood than fibre from a plant stem.... as you saw in the picture. I've called Campbell's and they are forwarding me a 'return kit' so that they can take a closer look at it and see if it was wood or plant fibre..... also sending me some free vouchers for more woody soup..... :-) It was weird but not gross....

Me: LOL! Oh dad...You are one in a million! Keep eattin'! We'll build a boat! LOL!!!!


*giggles* I haven't asked him yet what that dark brown object is. Quite frankly, I think I'm afraid to know.

Everybody Loves A Happy Ending

I find myself pondering my ninteenth century Artdeco bedroom

Life is like that sometimes...

Last night Little Grunt and I snuggled up to watch the first half of Chronicles of Narnia (looks like a fun place to go climbing). Omar the kid and I are eating off TV tables, me with a tofu burger (Farm Boy has the best ones around FYI since Loblaws stopped selling the ones from Quebec) any hoo…His peas are all overcooked and wrinkly (sorry!), so I give him some cucumber from my Greek salad. He takes a bite and says “OUCH!”…I’m like, Ouch?…”Yeah” he says
“it tastes so bad it hurts”.

Bah dum-dum TISH

What am I listening to?

Jolie Louise :: Daniel Langois "Acadie"

Thursday, April 06, 2006

How do you fly this thing?

Stressful day. One of my admin staff fucked up the AR summary by accidentally adjusting a 1998 posting. This is the GRAND DADDY POOBAH clusterfuckages of all time. That in itself wouldn’t be so bad, but I’m doing interviews while the problem sits unattended to. I enjoy interviews, but the whole thing is draining. This is what’s fucking me up. It’s in my nature to do my best, yet I’m doing my best for a bunch of fuckers who have fired me. Any idea of how difficult it is to try hiring someone (no, it's not for my job - THAT will not happen) and pulling out all the reasons why you they would want to work at our office? Not to mention chosing a candidate that I REALLY believe would be best for them?! I’d love to be all Zen and open-minded like letting the fucking universe shine in one end and beam out the other an all that jazz, but I have a fucking house, a fucking mortgage and a fucking kid to support in the midst of having to make things all fucking nicey-nice for two spineless unappreciative dickheads. I haven’t had to breath this deeply since fourteen hours of labour pains…If it weren’t for my friends the AVENGERS OF JUSTICE and I plotting the complete disablement of their business and timely execution of evil plans tailored to sabotage the staff on the very level of their individual core fears….BWAH AHAHAHAAH! this whole ordeal might have actually began to interfere with me having fun.

Great time to stop smoking eh?

In other news…Packed Little Grunt’s inline skates, protective gear etc to meet him after school, but first I took a nice blast on my mountain bike to see how the trails are drying up. I was DELIGHTED to make it one third of the way down the main artery before hitting a small lake like puddle spanning the entire path with more depth than I was up for today. I might have managed through the forest but time was pressing. Something to look forward to next trip. The route back had me venturing off down my first technical trail of the year and I cannot describe to you in words the sweetness. I like to pretend I’m Princess Leia in Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi when she’s being chased by scout troopers and she escapes on those cool speeder bikes that race through the forest.

In other other news…I am happy to say that my boobs are bigger and I’ve stopped wearing that awful bra that made me feel like I ought to be taking slap shots in the chest. I’ve been eatting like a mad woman since everything I tend to eat burns off pretty quickly. I was checking out my dumper in the mirror – she’s coming along nicely! I tend to put on weight when I’m at my happiest – usually that means a committed relationship. I think it’s the cuddling. Touch etc. Just like babies, they eat more when they are stimulated. Probably how I developed my black belt in cuddling. I read somewhere that a person needs twelve hugs a day. That puts me in a HUGE deficit.

With all that self anaylsis business aside, "Her Highness Tokyo" reminds me that the Cherry Blossoms are in bloom. For me, this is one of the most beautiful sights in the world and I would surely cry given the chance to experience it. She tried to take some pictures to send to me, but they didn’t turn out or the batteries died or something…Sigh. Not to worry. Once the trees are in bloom, I have canapies of blossoms to bike under moving through curtains of fragrance. That's what I have in my own backyard. So there!

Ever since I began those Chinese herbs and green powder in my juice, the anti-oxidants etc I swear I’ve added to the ozone problem. Tomorrow when the very cute accupuncturist and I meet, I wonder how I can break that one to him (no pun). If we laugh as much as we did last time AGAIN this appointment, that would be amazing! It’s when he looks at me and holds my gaze for the moment and the moment longer… Having a crush on someone is so much fun. But I’m beginning to think I date men just to torture them. Sometimes I wonder if anyone could have or would really want to have a relationship with me. I find myself impossible!

How DO you fly this thing?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Nobodies Girl

A couple of issues were really pissing me off on the way into work today. One: Thinking of the coward jackass that killed his family, set himself on fire and left a note of explanation in his van. Two: There is a most incredible park nestled within the forest. It has been burned down twice now. I have been corresponding with the BCA President about ways to prevent this from reoccurring. There is a meeting tonight – I’m not up to it.

What is with people who own dogs that nuzzle their noses right into your crotch? Let it be known that if you haven’t been kind enough to invest the time to show your dog how to greet guests and you invite me over to encounter that, the dog is lining himself up to a direct shot to the snout.

All the fire that was building on the drive in I doused with thoughts of my friend Jim. He’s one of those people whom by mere thought make everything in life a simple matter of perspective. In the words of Jim “GET A LIFE”. He actually teaches that course in his Life Skills Series. Cool guy.

I miss him and need to return his book I’ve kept hostage like a Jim blankie in his absence. I’m going to visit him Saturday and MUST remember a Tim Horton's medium coffee one cream. He’s just returned from a BC road trip. With his company he takes people climbing all over the world. This is us on an ice climb day trip...

In other news, Dum-Dum aka Anum in CA is getting ready to climb a new El Cap route called Tribal Rite which starts roughly 12/13 pitches up. He tells me it’s “stout A4” with not a lick of free climbing. Ten days climbing, three for the accent, seven actually climbing and a little R&R on the summit. I had to cut our convo short, so still haven’t procured the missing information about portaledge sleeping. My friends always ask me about rolling over.

“Her Highness Tokyo” has send me another speech to proof for her. She sends me the same e-mail from three different addresses and always signs off: I love you very much!!(^3^) I hope she nails this one, her English is really improving…. “How do you think about the IC Tags?” …Well kind of… I see her position on the IC Tags has changed…I miss her too.

Fucking depressing talking about people I miss. … Especially when I’m stuck at home with my period all crampy and growing a gargantuan ZIT. Sigh…Self pitty. Something so satisfying about it. I can’t even begin to discuss missing Grog-moot and our mountain biking. Ouuuch.

What can I say, I love my friends, the good the bad and the ugly and I'M NOT AFRAID TO SHOW IT DAMN IT!!!! After all, life is but a whisp of smoke. What good are you if you can't be honest? ..... Segue.....

This will be no more uplifting, but since I’ve already had a good cry about the work issue and a good laugh knowing that my boobs are completely innocent… I read about Teri Hatcher coming forth about her sexual abuse. Partly it’s as frustrating as hell that a fourteen year old girl took her own life. Teri came forward. That’s what counts. Shame is a big wall that took over 40 years to face. Too bad that Stone wasn’t as brave. I feel for the parents loss. Hatcher said that before going to prosecutors four years ago, she had never told anyone of her own ordeal, not even her parents. That’s rough. All in all, she did the right thing when it counted. It will be interesting to see how this pans out over the next several year for her. I know I’ll be checking in that wouldn't have been an easy thing to do. I believe that any feelings of anger are normal surrounding this issue. I think the important thing is that the anger is properly channelled towards the abuser, not towards the victim. Now, I do believe there's a debate about a victim's responsibility of contacting the police. I for one do believe it would be my responsibility to file a report at the very least. The police depending on local laws will offter to contact the abuser, even if charges are not pressed.

Well, it’s time for my yummy greek salad and then I think I’ll two-bite brownie my self into a full tummy.

Something's gotta give soon. It may be my waist line.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

The Suck, Spit and Swallow of Learning, Giving and Believing

Red Hot Chili Peppers sang me awake this morning. Mm. That was nice. I lived on a diet rich in “By The Way” for an entire year. Very filling.

Yoga was a delightful surprise. Better than the last (and only) gym yoga class I had ever done or would want to do again. While nothing has compared to Jean’s classes - that woman is gifted! In addition to her talents, there is the atmosphere; the candle, the incense, the music, the stain glass and the fact that it is attached to a church. What am I thinking?! Jean’s hugs!!! Without her greeting me at the beginning of a class, watching her come at me with her little penguin shuffle and that warm-welcoming embrace. Being a student under Jean's instruction for over three years, spring cleanses, breathing, meditation guided by Supreme Master Ching Hai... It turns out the lesson was for me not to compare, but to take everything I had practiced into the class with me. With that attitude, this morning our instructor Carol may have sounded (and looked) like a drill sergeant, but it didn’t take long to find that peaceful place within myself. Portable peace :-)

Before I knew it I was sitting at the front row at my son's concert flanked by my parents and bud-dad. It takes a child’s recital to show just how emotionally repressed one is (a lot). He did wonderfully, like a pro - he says he enjoyed it "A Lot!" All the children were precious, I did all I could to keep from bawling, especially when this little girl sang Breakaway (I'm including this for you Canada - my dear friend and music therapist, knock yourself out and analyse me - be kind ;-)) I'm not sure if it was the little girl singing or the lyrics or if I am just more emotional right now, either way, it was endearing. Anyhoo, afterwards we all headed out for celebratory pizza and now I’m trying to get some ironing and laundry done before I sit down with some tea….

The last book I was really able to get into was Life of Pie by Canadian Author Yann Martel. SIGH. I need a new read…Something that will grab me and hold my attention the whole way through.

The coupon’s for Marnie Bins birthday are ready. She’s been SUPER step-mom lately, so step-daughter Smashley and I came up with a little somthing special for her. I may have had to sell my soul for the colour printer, but it was worth it, here’s how some of the coupons look:

Ah, SUCKS! You will not see how they look because of my tech-NO-savy curse. Blasted. Grr.

OK, to compensate, please enjoy: