Sharp As A Marble

Veronica Mars = VERY GOOD. At times I feel like I haven’t found "My Tribe" of not only other fair skinned, slender, blue eyed, Swiss-looking people, magical little elfin looking folk with blond eyelashes and Julianne Moorish tissue paper skin, Heather Locklear-esque…But also cut from the cloth of underdog lover, fighter of justice, willing to put yourself in the line of fire for a greater good, adventurer type spirits, those with spunk, hutzpah, the whole nine yards. The character Veronica Mars enraptures this like a long lost kindred spirit and she has good dressing style – bonus! Thank you Dave – a new show to watch! :-)

Hockey this morning! Kiddies were on the rink 8am sharp. I yakked with another hockey mom who happens to be “from my tribe”. I had been feeling guity about thinking that the Da Vinci Code was *CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAP* and was feeling even more abnormal that I wanted to read a book from the series Little House on the Prairie or Anne of Green Gables. Today, said friend happen to be reading about the Ingalls and it felt ok to want a story that didn’t have monsters, killing, stealing, guns, incest, just pure innocent stuff, as wholesome and comforting as a heavy quilted blanket made with love. Maybe behind this stealth SEXY dangerous exterior there is a part of me who just wants to be tucked in at night with a nice safe book.

After hockey it’s a visit to the church. I’m not catholic, French-Irish Protestant (roughly translates into “slut” I think) anyway…Omar will be receiving his first communion and reconciliation, sounds like wireless meets accounting to me but cut me some slack I’m in the learning curve on this stuff. All parents seated, brightly light church, comfy seats, oh! A pull out foot bench – how thoughtful! Nice warm orange coloured wood casts a vibrant hue throughout the place – the church is church-eerie QUIET, but comfortable enough. It must be a family run church, cause someone’s father begins talking, my mind takes that as it’s cue to begin a string of useless thoughts bouncing around like a thousand ping-pong ball released on concrete. This tangent lasts long enough for me to notice and I gently bring my attention back to the speaker. Surely I'm possessed. It’s around this time that my cell phone goes off. After the twelfth ring or so, I have checked every pocket twice, smiling politely with just the right amount of apology thrown in for good measure. Nobody even HAS this number – I think to myself…. Finally the caller gives up and I find the phone not in any of the four pockets in the bomber jacket but the pocket of my fleece that I am wearing UNDER my bomber jacket and precisely where the sound was coming from – in the absense of any stress, this makes perfect sense. I silently ponder whether or not to now make MORE noise by shutting the phone off, but NO, I’m a gambling sorta gal. Lightening won’t strike twice. I compose myself and shake off any guilt about not being the type of person who plans ahead when a speaker takes the stand by pre-empting phone calls and turning their phone off, I’m human, I’m entitled to make mistakes, this cell phone thing is new to me. I am pardoned - spared from The Cross. Now, who’s this speaking, what is she talking about, that must be the mother …reconciliation, yes, yes, I’m “down” with that as I mentally jog to catch up….Then, as if it were God himself calling me, wouldn’tcha know it, the phone begins to ring again. AHA! But now, I’ve got the phone EXACTLY where I want it. That phone's my bitch.

Me: (in whisper laced with irritation) Hello?

The Intruder: Yeah, hi, is Jacques there?

***??!! JACQUES !!?? Who the f*@# is Jacques?!?***

Me: (in the best “Christian” voice I can muster up) You’ve got the wrong number.

The Intruder: (muffled as the phone is now 12” away from my ear) …. Mraw, maw maw-maw…

Me: *Click* (more polite grinning, hang head, shake head, chuckle, shrug shoulders, smile, mentally plot death of Intruder - oh, how Christian of me!!!)



Later, I deducted that while I'm just not “good at" church. Tomorrow I’m gonna try again with my friend, we’re doing breakfast then church together – I’ll be sure to be on my best behaviour. Phone’s off.

See what a quick learn I am?

TV will you marry me?

That Changes Everything


I don’t watch TV very much anymore. The Simpsons will always catch my attention; The Family Guy recently had an episode that was so entirely amusing I wanted to send a thank you note. I used to watch a fair amount of TV, especially as a kid. TV was the “holding bay” that mom let us gravitate to while she got supper ready. I remember nothing more relaxing than coming home after a long day of being bullied to kick back in front of the Monkey’s, Three’s Company, Gilligan’s Island, I Dream of Genie, Bewitched, The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, Six Million Dollar Man (that was a favourite), Charlie’s Angels….By the time the holiday cartoon’s would hit, whoa! Charlie Brown, The Racoons, The Grinch….You know how it goes, the road runner just never got caught.

Today, after Seinfeld, after Cheers, after Fraser, long after Will & Grace, what do you watch? Sopranos, Six Feet Under, CSI, Grey's Anatomy…A little Jeoporady to seal the deal of just how much you don’t know? To me buying into a show, like Gilmour Girls for example, is an investment. You want to know the show’s gonna be around for a while before you ‘buy in’. Sometimes a show is “referred” to you by a friend or family member. My mother happens to like Everybody Loves Raymond. Good show.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s , THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE., seems like a funny show, has potential. I just caught an episode “The Champ” where she keeps trying to resist sleeping with this guy, but his "linguistic talents" keep reeling her back. I like the characters, she’s a single mom with boy. Easy enough to relate to, but so many of the shows seem to be lacking that crack cocaine addictiveness that writers like that Curb Your Enthusiasm's Larry David are able to generate. Lately my son and I have taken to watching Malcom in the Middle. I like that Malcom is smart, the parents are a team (if you know what I mean), the boys do good bad-ass shit and often get caught.

Tonight I am going to check out Veronica Mars. I learned how popular she is from my exposure to Blogography (Dave has been mentioned a number of times now - I must be crushing on him :-) Hiiiii Dave)

Tonight’s episode:

"Like a Virgin" Meg's humiliation drives her from her social circle when the scores from a ``purity test'' become public, and Veronica sets out to find the person responsible for the leak.


How apropos that the Virgin (Virgo) gets to watch a Virgin episode called Like a Virgin.

K - gotta go! Show is ON.

Here I Am Looooooove Me

Explain what ended your last relationship? An Ogre with no feelings. Apparently I'm not worthy of love. I'm thinking of turning gay - all men are the same.

When was the last time you shaved? This morning.

What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Getting dressed for work.

What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Getting dressed for work.

Are you any good at math? Yes. Math is an art form, complex, rich and fluid. But I don't work well under pressure!

Your prom night, what do you remember about it? My boyfriend matched his bow tie and cumber-bun to my baby blue satin strapless dress. He and his buddy pulled a dine'n dash at the Chateau Laurier. My girlfriend and I were oblivious and wondered why the waiter came running out to the lobby looking around frantically. When the guys rushed us out of the hotel, then then scene became apparent. A Bonnie and Clyde moment for Scotty and I for sure. I don’t remember being angry…for too long…

Do you have any famous ancestors? Bloodline to Grace Kelly is the word on the street. My grandmother came to Canada from Ireland by boat in the early 1900's. I have yet to trace that one.

Have you had to take a loan out for school? I did years ago until the money from Great-Great Auntie Grace came trickling in.

Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile? I thought MySpace was for kids - who knew?

Last thing received in the mail? Money.

How many different beverages have you had today? One, I'm working on my coffee.

Do you ever leave messages on people’s answering machine? I left a doosey last night on ML’s machine ranting about dog shit…Turns out their beast shit all over their son's carpet.

Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Boy George! HA!~ The boy I went with, his father had the lighting contracts for big concerts, so he would get back stage passes. I’m such an ass that I didn’t let him put his sweaty little hands all over me and go to Chris De Burg with him. I thought it was wrong to go with a boy I wasn’t attracted to. (I didn't know he liked me-liked me at Boy George, I thought we were just friends, so that was ok).

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? I might play in the sand, bury my feet in it if it's warm, depends on the sand. Last time I was at the Ocean, my traveling companion and I took a nap on the sand.

What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve had? A tie between braces & wisdom teeth removal.

What is out your back door? Wooden stair/deck the kind that came with the home... My backyard, garden, a sick tree, a Lilac bush, a big bald spot where the pool was, some Noma lights and the arbour my mom and I built.

Any plans for Friday night? Skating perhaps, I hear that Veronica Mars is on and you're not cool if you don't watch it you know.

Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? I love the ocean and I never thought about what it does to my hair. My mom taught me that the flips and turns that my hair did were "natural". I think that was suppose to be a good thing, hard to say, growing up with my brother was harsh.

Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? The Beavers are selling them at this time of year, so I’m sure I’ll end up buying some.

Have you ever been to a planetarium? No. It's been on my goal list for over 15 years now.

Do you re-use towels after you shower? Yup. One for my hair and one for my body.

Some things you are excited about? My upcoming trip to TO, seeing Omar tonight, my future.

What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? Jell-O (note proper spelling according to Dave at Blogography). I don’t eat Jello. But plan on having a backyard kiddy pool of Jello this summer.

Describe your keychain(s)? Must I? I have three. One has a small climbing sling with a bright yellow whistle, one has a blue carabiner to detach home from car, one has home and car together with a BIG “N” and my last name engraved on it (to make it easy for the thieves to find me of course) and a big “first letter of my last name” in gold that turns inside a brushed silver casing.

Where do you keep your change? In a special little drawer designed for change in my car. In a special pocket in my bag and in an open gold box in my bedroom.

When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people? Largest group was at Dale Carnegie obout twelve years ago.

What kind of winter coat do you own? Heli Hanson for skiing, leather Danier for work, MEC bomber for booting around and playing in, Yamaha for skidooing and one real beater if I’m actually working (like snowblowing) or doing anything outside I’ll get dirty doing (yes, I know snow is clean, but the smell of gasoline and/or rips happen) or playing with the dog.

What was the weather like on your graduation day? HOT! I remember perspiring while getting ready.

Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Closed. I’m afraid the dog will go downstairs and PISS on the carpet in the middle of the night so I trap him in with me like a huge crate. Besides, how will I hear the killer creep in if there's no door knob to turn? I need a head start to reach for my gun you know.

Thanks to Dave, who thanked Adena for this meme.

What Next?

New? New. What's new?

My dear old friend, the boy who never stopped chasing - the one with the investment property. He suddenly got married and suddenly divorced as I just learned. Turns out the woman of his dreams, honestly the closest Angelina Jolie look-a-like I have ever seen happened to be a stripper (incidently with over $25,000 of plastic surgery - lips, teeth, boobs...). My friend just sold investment property #2 and has #1 rented. In thirty days, he'll have no place to live because investment property #2 sold. I've offered him a room if he needs it.

In other news...I'm really enjoying my new job. Today I spend the day shadowing another rep, we did some rounds, had a nice lunch at a pub, he wants to introduce me to a friend of his, but I still don't feel ready for that. We swung by his place, he cleaned some cat puke while I played his guitar. He has a baby boy on the way and has done a great job on the house, with special detail to the baby's room. We did a little business, then finished up the afternoon in a relaxing fashion on the road then back to head office. I LOVE working with men. LOVE-LOVE-LOVE-LOVE-LOVE it. What a refreshing change. Setting up has consumed most of my time lately, but that's ok with me. That good ole work ethic of mine kickin' in...I have to admit, I really have been enjoying this new job, the people, the interaction, the vibe ~ but they sure do drink alot!

In other-other news....My family has begun to put some ever-so-slight pressure on me to move to the country. I think they're concerned about my travel time and having my son taken care of....If I lived out there it would be easier on everyone. Everyone but me. I told them I have no intensions of living in the country and being single. I consider myself to be quite independant, but that's pushing it. I'll be in TO on training for a week at the end of Oct - I'll miss Halloween. C'est la vie. Woman has to work and halloween in TO with a bunch of friends will be a whole lotta fun.... ... ... .... ................................... .. .... . . ... . . . . . . . . ............. . . . . . . . . . . . .................... . . . ....

Listening to Unchained Melody : Sarah MacLaughlin.... Norah Jones : Turn me on . . . . . . ............ . . . . . . . . . ... .... .... ...... .. .. . . ........... . . . ............. . . . . ....... . . . . . . . . . .... ..... . ....... .... ... .. . ................. ..... . . . .. ............. .................................. .... . . . . . . . . . . ....... ... . .

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come awayyyyyyyyyyy with me.....



:)

p.s. Did I mention that I came home to A BIG HEAP OF DOG CRAP??

Life Act II

Joy.

Returned from the office to find a second helping of PUKE. Clearly the cat food has not agreed with the dog. He made his point a couple of more times now.

Woofers is sick.

Life

OK.


Working for "yourself", being on the road an all that is sweet - no doubt.


HOWEVER.


I just dropped Omar off at daycare and came home to see it wasn't dog shit on the carpet assaulting my senses this time, instead Simon has decided to "mix things up", a heaping pile of steaming PUKE at the front door welcomed me.

Dog eats the cat food, cat eats the dog food...Let's call the whole thing off.

Happy day folks.

FAWTS

Omar: I know how to make fawts.

Me: Really?!..How?

Omar: You need to eat a snack and sit on a blue carpet cross-legged.

Me: What if I sit on a red carpet?

Omar: Red carpets will work too.

Me: Omar, what colour is the carpet in your classroom?

Omar: Blue.

Me: Unhuh. (leaning in with a diabolical grin, I whisper) Ever let one rip at school?

Omar: Yeah, but I had to pretend it wasn’t me or I’d be embarrassed.

Me: Right. That happens more than you’d believe.

Omar: I fawted in the hall one day and it echoed.

Me: Good one.