Carpe Dum Dum

When it’s –29 with the wind chill factor and I feel like if I don’t do something physically active VERY shortly, I may just tear the head off something … wait a minute, does the GIGANTIC whitehead that finally made it’s appearance this morning count?

The part of my job I LOATH is being away from home. The single parent kid shuffle makes my skin crawl (and get GIANT zits apparently). Naturally three of the previous work related travel/away experiences, Omar lost a tooth on 2/3 of them AND came in first for his Cub Kit Kar race, something else I missed chalked up there with Halloween….SIGH.

I’m feeling immense amounts of pressure to perform at work; however, I don’t feel like I have a moment to myself, nor do I feel I’ve taken a sufficient amount of time to organize lately. In addition, I haven’t gone skiing, jogging, done yoga or any decent skating. The weather is a big factor in that, but so has my job. I feel like I'm headed in every direction without any soul gratifying moments. Hmm....OK, something to change immediately.

The highlights of the past several weeks has been two tiered, since I've missed any real connection with my child, home or pets, it's my romantic life = a BIG breathy sigh reveals the fragrant aroma of the dozen red roses that were delivered to my office and now sit behind me (glancing over my shoulder I notice the OTHER "for no reason" flowers that sit off further on the kitchen counter)…The second tier of happy-happy goodness: We completed with tireless dedication a beautiful backyard rink on schedule for my son’s 8th Birthday.


Did I mention how much I abhor work travel? No, noooo, don’t feel bad for me, just keep in mind when an agenda that looks like this past four days did and they have me scheduled from 8am till 1am and the agenda spans a four day period I have a MOUNTAIN of unanswered and unread work and personal e-mail to attend to, not to mention a neglected territory. See how wonderful it is? I can't blame work solely. The spin off from Christmas, taxes, birthdays, dating too have given me a bag of happy complaints to dig into.

I’m taking a day to recoup, reorganize and go for a frickin walk before I get all pissy about it. ;)

My next mission after seeing the light of day??? Reading blogs!!!

I miss you my fellow bloggers.

A Quick Moment

I had no intention of posting this morning. In fact even though for the past two evenings I have been working past midnight and like this morning up at 6am. I read a post from Dave that really bothered me and before I embark on what will be another busy day I need take a moment for myself and let it all spill.

My grandfather died of bleeding ulcers and I've been freaking out because this is the third bout of pains in my stomach that I've experienced. I may have blogged about it at Christmas, I'm not sure - but I went to the country thinking it was the flu. Then the pains returned in early Jan while I was on the road and I was sure it was lactose intolerance. I was driving around, making my calls and doubled over in my car. So bad, I pulled over to a mall, went in and bought some lactaid in a desperate attempt to curb the pangs of pain. Then it hit me again on Saturday, again I reviewed my dairy intake...Sigh. I'm questioning my stress. I've made my doctors appointment. I don't feel as much scared as I do just hyper protective of anxiety levels.

I mentioned I met someone. He's a widower, his wife died of breast cancer three years ago and he has two beautiful daughters. I can say that having a glimmer of love has been nice though....So we'll see how that goes.

Back to my tummy. Work stress is all self imposed. The truth is all I want is to make ends meet and I know I will get there sooner by putting one foot in front of the other. I did an annual financial forecast, so I know exactly where things are at, and where I am going. The last thing I needed was the car accident - but when I'm too busy to write about the third frickin kid driving his/her daddy's car putting me at the receiving end and missing work, dealing with police, grr..I didn't even get to write about his lie.....*huff*

Omar? He was SUPER tied last night, because the night before I told him he could read for 5 mins in bed. I went downstairs, began working and lost track of time. An HOUR LATER he came down with a proud smile on his face (I freak out inside that he's still awake), but he's so happy he finished all 128 pages of his book. I congratulate him and tuck him back into bed, now feeling ashamed that I didn't follow up with him on time...ANYWAY...Last night he turned into bitchy boy and argued and argued with me about wanting to rip out something that was glued to his homework book (had he actually tried to rip it off the page, it would have ruined the work)...ANYWAY...grr...he insisted even after I told him it was fine, just to leave it...not normal behaviour for him...then I remembered about the late night....Long story short, I made it float, but it involved putting a cap on the whole deal and putting him to bed at 8:30...Now I expect to go upstairs and wake up a brand new child.

I send out my love in all directions.

Perhaps I'll take a moment tonight before I head out with my girlfriend to play a little tag. ;)

If anyone needs to be inspired, check out what Dave's been up to.

Cheers,
Me

Racing

Of all the things that don’t impress me much……….THIS on the other hand does.

My brother, as I may have mentioned, races and has since he was a teenager. He has built himself a heated garage on his property to further indulge his passion. I must say, I admire that; when a person knows what they enjoy and when they work so hard to fuel that passion. Which brings me to Omar. He is at that magical tender age of a Cub scout who promises to do his best and to do a good deed every day, save the queen, be like god, take over the country or something like that… and with my brother’s help totally kick ass in the Cubs Kit Kar races. I am thrilled to say that I honestly I haven’t seen my brother this excited since his very own last season of racing. When Omar sent Uncle an e-mail asking for help, it was followed up the very next day. I received several calls just today that mentioned car components being ordered from Arizona! PLUS in this two day period, he took a trip to the cubs shop and purchases two of their kits (one for him, one for Omar) in addition to being all over the web searching Rules. Regulations. So Omar doesn’t get a “DQ”…A D.Q. I ask? Yeah, he says, “disqualified”.

I suspect the kid will end up with a car that looks like it came straight from frickin Nasa and my brother will be right behind him with a big ass grin on his face.

JOY. JOY. Happiness IS….

In other news, I’m totally kicking ass on the field. Cleaning up just might be the term. Welcome SUCCESS!!!! I’m not much on material things (see: low maintenance)…But suffice it to say, that the purchase of my car with leather interior and seat warmers was entirely the way to go.

MORE JOY. Happiness!….

Excuse Moi...

OH GOD IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME!!! I could gush a gallon of love about seeing Omar.

We were DRENCHED in information over the week. Since I don't even know where to begin...I'll just say that hanging out with my french comrades was Too. Much. Fun. More than I could write here and now. Memories to turn over and over in my mind for days to come.

One word: FAAAAAABULOUS.

I am currently typing on, eww, mm, a few hours of sleep and therefore really have nothing to offer. It's time to rub up against everything in my house and go to bed!

MISS

How I feel about leaving Omar, the pets and my home so close to Christmas








Be back Thursday.

It's Beginning To Look Alot Like Heart Failure...

Or ... "It's beginning to look a lot like whiplash..." Sing that one on the way into the office.

How does my week end?

I’ll tell ya. The freezing rain started around noon in the East end, after traveling back to our Branch in the West end was NO problem. I’m thankful that mom and X helped me out, I had asked if they could get the “snow boots” put on my car while I was in Toronto a few weeks ago.

Here’s the hairy part. Back at the branch I walk in early afternoon and Dori-doll tells me she put the travel plans on my desk, I leave on Sunday.

Travel plans?! Sunday?!

YEAH. I’ve been booked to leave on Sunday for two weeks!

Well, that’s not gonna happen. I told our Branch Manager that I was still breathing, but I needed his help to sort this out - he did and told me not to worry about it. I might go down for a day or two max. But one day travel notice? Somebody screwed up. …. Gosh, I hope it wasn’t me…;-)

The snow hit! Two to three inches fell sometime between 3pm and 5pm today. Omar put on his snow pants and boots before we left day care tonight and jumped outta the car before it had even come to a stop. Right now, he’s out in the backyard with his dog , his sled and the Canada hat he earned running the 1km on Canada day (it's sooo cute). “I’m building a fort mom!” Smiles all around.

Happiness is, SNOW!

Oh...gotta go. The Prince wants hot chocolate outside in his "fort" (I think he's under the stairs).

Slivers

Friday’s all day course was cool. I got to see pics like this before breakfast. Deeelightful! The fun thing about this work is you get to be exposed to blood, pus, bone, gingival flaps and kill things with a vengeance! Sure it’s viruses and bacteria, but trust me, they’re nasty buggers!!! The course featured more laser technology, this one boasts a dye injected into the periodontal pocket that adheres to the membrane of the meanest nastier bugs then illuminate with laser and the little bastards implode leaving the good guys totally intact = promotes healing. How cool is THAT?! Get’s my vote. See? Killing can be fun! :-)

* Understand, this is after teeth like these have been cleaned.

Omar asked about where I put his first tooth the other day. I may have written about the natural beauty of this tooth. We negotiated via a small note to the tooth fairy a "viewing" of the tooth for a $5 fee with a promisary note of selling to her exclusively the next lost tooth. She accepted. Afterall, this tooth was dental the equivalent to the hope diamond. Pray I find it.

BABY BUNNIES TO EASE YOUR EYES AFTER LOOKING AT THOSE TEETH!!!

Sorry!

((hugs & kisses))

My only complaint? The nasty douche bag that thought it was necessary to take a bath in perfume. I’m sure it was terribly expensive, but it was also terribly offensive. I’ll never understand, be it man or woman, why on earth people feel it necessary to slather themselves in scent. To me, the hint of a fragrance, where it leaves me yearning for a second whiff is far me enticing than someone ramming smell up me nose assaulting me from all directions. Two words: GO. AWAY.

In other stinks, something has found a corner of my fridge to die in. The culprit is still in hiding, but authorities are on the case.

Took Omar to 67’s game Friday night – they put us up on the BIG SCREEN ~ that was fun and man do those boys play hockey with heart.

Santa came to town on Saturday – Omar understood that this was a big deal when we were given special priviledges by police to travel down blocked roads because of his participation in the parade. I got some great shots of the kids (Canada – you’ll love me for this~!) After we had a bite and warmed up, Omar sat on Santa’s knee. Standing in line waiting, it went something like this:

Omar: Mom, that’s not the real Santa.
Me: No? Why do you say that?
Omar: Look closely, you can see a bit of brown hair – you have to look close.
Me: Hmmm *crouching down to Omar’s level, critically eyeing ole Saint Nick* I see what you see..... Makes sense. I think the real Santa had another booking downtown.
Omar: That’s one of Santa’s helpers, not an Elf, the Elves are smaller.



Naturally.

Jiggity-Jig

Home from "explanding" my brain....My proof-reader became a billionaire and has taken early retirement it seems...

WOW! What a week!!! What a fantastic group!!! This is the first time that I've travelled for work and I must say it was a successful adventure all around.

Great speaker from the US, entertaining, stretch limos and more Martini's than this gal's had in a lifetime. What made the stay even more comfortable was that I received a private room.

I came home to the most adorable little boy who'd been running a fever and had lost a tooth. We spent the night playing together and cuddling.

I haven't unpacked yet, but have started with my wish lists for today, for next week and for 2007.

NOW.

My son is asking me to find one of these:

For his:

With THIS as his ultimate goal:

Gone Fishing!

Hey y'all.

I'm taking a week to expland my brain...Hope it doesn't hurt.

Be good, play nice.

Nancy xo

What Next?

New? New. What's new?

My dear old friend, the boy who never stopped chasing - the one with the investment property. He suddenly got married and suddenly divorced as I just learned. Turns out the woman of his dreams, honestly the closest Angelina Jolie look-a-like I have ever seen happened to be a stripper (incidently with over $25,000 of plastic surgery - lips, teeth, boobs...). My friend just sold investment property #2 and has #1 rented. In thirty days, he'll have no place to live because investment property #2 sold. I've offered him a room if he needs it.

In other news...I'm really enjoying my new job. Today I spend the day shadowing another rep, we did some rounds, had a nice lunch at a pub, he wants to introduce me to a friend of his, but I still don't feel ready for that. We swung by his place, he cleaned some cat puke while I played his guitar. He has a baby boy on the way and has done a great job on the house, with special detail to the baby's room. We did a little business, then finished up the afternoon in a relaxing fashion on the road then back to head office. I LOVE working with men. LOVE-LOVE-LOVE-LOVE-LOVE it. What a refreshing change. Setting up has consumed most of my time lately, but that's ok with me. That good ole work ethic of mine kickin' in...I have to admit, I really have been enjoying this new job, the people, the interaction, the vibe ~ but they sure do drink alot!

In other-other news....My family has begun to put some ever-so-slight pressure on me to move to the country. I think they're concerned about my travel time and having my son taken care of....If I lived out there it would be easier on everyone. Everyone but me. I told them I have no intensions of living in the country and being single. I consider myself to be quite independant, but that's pushing it. I'll be in TO on training for a week at the end of Oct - I'll miss Halloween. C'est la vie. Woman has to work and halloween in TO with a bunch of friends will be a whole lotta fun.... ... ... .... ................................... .. .... . . ... . . . . . . . . ............. . . . . . . . . . . . .................... . . . ....

Listening to Unchained Melody : Sarah MacLaughlin.... Norah Jones : Turn me on . . . . . . ............ . . . . . . . . . ... .... .... ...... .. .. . . ........... . . . ............. . . . . ....... . . . . . . . . . .... ..... . ....... .... ... .. . ................. ..... . . . .. ............. .................................. .... . . . . . . . . . . ....... ... . .

..

.... . . .

.

.


come awayyyyyyyyyyy with me.....



:)

p.s. Did I mention that I came home to A BIG HEAP OF DOG CRAP??

She Says Sneakers

Quirks?

It wasn’t bamboo shoots driven under my fingernails; it was just listening to Supertramp(shudders) . Perfect for Sunday morning, Breakfast in America, but a no-no for working.

Brad Paisley. Well, I like Brad Paisley. I’ll let him live.

Nina, well, there’s never a wrong time for Nina (or the Squirrel Nut Zippers).

Willy and I seem to get along almost all of the time. After all cowboys are hard to love and it is ALL YOUR FAULT….. ;-)

Right now I’m listening to Tim and Faith – “I Need You”. Pretty song. So is Dwight Yoakam’s “Try Not to Look So Pretty”…Happy songs.

Complaint.

I’ll admit I have naïve side, I’ll also admit that I can be polite/nice to a fault often putting other people’s feelings ahead of my own. However, when I have experienced men grabbing, giving what I will politely describe as “unwanted touch”, well, this is another story. The last time this happened was Thanksgiving when some fucktard friend of my brothers grabbed me and tried to throw me over his shoulder. He’s a jackass like this. This cat normally lands on her feet, but if he tries it again he’s gonna lose a ball.

Then there’s the “hugger”. How do you dodge the hugger? I work with a hugger I’ve known for years, for me his hugs feel like the equivalent of having a dog hump your leg (notice I said “your” leg, I don’t even want to imagine this in the context of “my”). OK, here’s how to avoid the “where’s my hug” guy: You load your arms with every available object, this works equally as well with the hand shaker. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have an aversion to touch, or hand shaking in general. But there are some people I don’t want to touch in any way shape or form.

Where the fuck do guys get off touching? Boo – if you’re reading, remember the back- rubber from the stag? WTF? What are guys thinking?! I’ve never met this person before in my entire life and his approach with me is to feel me up?! I’m buying a flame thrower.




I’ll use it on people who breath to close to me as well and especially on people with ass breath.

Sans Sister.

I am void of sister. I have always wanted, hoped and prayed for a sister. The kind who loves you like a best friend, shares in your triumphs, cries when you cry, has a hug when things get rough, will phone up the creep who treats me like dirt and tells him just what a scum bag he is….Plan Christmas with….You know all that good stuff.

My friends who have really good sisters are so lucky. Some spoiled with sister love really. Makes me so jealous!!! Probably don’t even know how lucky they are. What do I have? A brother. Yeah, yeah he loves me an all, but brother’s aren’t so good at the nurturing thing, not like sisters. Sisters cook for you, bring you things, drop in for visits.

My brother is 4 years older than I am. We so love each other very much and he does his brotherly minimal minimum. It really freaks me out when I think of my mom dying and not having a sister around to ride out life with.

I wish I had a sister. Or two. I REALLY wish I had a sister. My life would be better with a sister. Unless I had a sister who was a twit. If I had a stupid sister, or a slutty sister, I’d go mental and probably plot her death. Or-0r, if I had a sister who was some cold feminist nazi bitch - I'd hate her. I'd want a soft, warm, happy, fun, supportive sister - kinda just another me! My brother's girlfriend is a nice warm fuzzy kinda girl - I like her. If she had a Harley, that would be good. Maybe someday I’ll get a sister-in-law. I’d wish she was older than me. Yup. Welcome to my little dream world of previously unspoken wants.

For my friends, Canada, Boo, Lou-Lou in Lousiana, Banana, ML, all the gals in my life are my sisters. I cooked some kick ass Thai tonight, maybe I ought to feed some of them soon….


Work

My territory is spread wider than…. well..let’s just say it’s vast.

Here’s how it looks:

HULL, QC
GATINEAU, QC
LAVAL, QC
WAKEFIELD, QC
BUCKINGHAM, QC
AYLMER, QC
ALMONTE, ON
KARP, ON
CLARENCE CREEK, ON
OSGOODE, ON
RICHMOND, ON
ALFRED, ON
ALEXANDRIA, ON
MORRISBURG, ON
ISIDORE, ON
IROQUOIS, ON
PRESCOTT, ON
GLENBURNIE, ON
OTTAWA, ON
GLOUCESTER, ON
NEPEAN, ON
KANATA, ON
STITTSVILLE, ON
CUMBERLAND, ON
NAVAN, ON
ROCKLAND, ON
RUSSELL, ON
CORNWALL, ON
BROCKVILLE, ON
ARNPRIOR, ON
PEMBROKE, ON
BURLINGTON, ON

Where the hell is Glenburnie!?

The last time I spent this much time in my car was when I was in graphic design and commuting two hours every day to get to College.

Living Alone.

After sewing the neckars for the kids Beaver colony the ironing board and sewing machine have taken permanent residence in my kitchen/living room area. I’m reveling in my singlehood this way. It’s liberating being a woman and having woman type stuff about. Especially my grandmother’s sewing box. Silly, weird the things that bring me comfort. My grampa and gramma were farmers and when I'd come to visit, gramma would always make Apple Crisp just for me cause she new I didn't like seeds in berries.

(BTW : Canada, that sewing, ironing night is not to be spoken of ever-EVER again, just grab a shovel and pitch in ;-)).

Omar.

My dear boy. Has requested baking soda to dip his toothbrush into to brush with. I used to do the same thing when I was a kid.

*blech!*

I HAVE MY PINEAPPLE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Those who know me well, know that my favourite fruit is PINEAPPLE. My favourite food is Vietnamese, that and Thai.

Not having any income and being the sole supporter with sole custody of my son living in a fairly large three bedroom single dwelling to pay for, my work "transition" altered how we had to eat. THINGS WERE ABOUT TO GET PRETTY DAMN LEAN. I had several evenings where I really splurged, but aside from this, most EVERYTHING WAS:

a) outta whack,

b) going outta whack or

c) about to go outta whack

Literally from TIP 2 TAIL.

Here's a story written about a girl I know...

There I was, putting out one fire after another, after another. I can honestly say that I have never experienced stress like this in my entire life. Not only were there these physical fires, but obviously I was emotionally stressed. My confidence rattled, decision making skewed, second guessing myself, quiet, introverted even, I felt shy, afraid, tentative, dealing with feelings of depression, and then rising to the fight in anger and then transforming that anger into forward motion and learning how to, well...Float. The suckage was, on a monumentous gargantuan scale some days, other days the practice of walking into an office that turned on me and treated me so harshly bit it – for six very LOONNNGGG months.

Had it not been for the size of my mortgage payment and my son and my desire to be amicable, I might have just tootled off right away. However, a replacement income in my range wasn’t going to be right around the corner, nor was I gonna jump from the frying pan into the fire, even though the offers where there. Then there’s the failure factor. Hard enough being the single mom in Suburbia HELL around family after family in this *perfect little Dulop community* – and there I am, sticking out like a, well, like a big ugly Ogre..."Hey, look at me, the big ODD BALL failure!!!" See why I looked into hiding in the country (aka swamp) a few years ago? I wanted a place where I could just be me without feeling judged, without having what I just couldn’t have shoved under my nose every day. Albeit and illusion or not, it was what I wanted but not at the cost of a healthy relationship with myself, I’m not desperate, and I do believe that there’s someone out there for everyone.

They say timing is everything in life. It was pretty apparent that when all the stress hit at work, it’s not fun being laid off, fired, terminated, exiled, call it what you will, I was leaving that tower. So stressful that it affected my body in some really negative ways. I’m not talking about just a zit! I was so worried, that when I began to experience numbness in my feet I found myself unexpectedly bursting into a succession of tears in my doctor’s office, which ended in me crying & laughing in unison at my own cyclical teary eruptions! LOL! He wanted to know of course what was going on, which I described how the ex was wanting to reduce his child support payments, all the work issues – having really *special* bosS (see: DICKHEAD) who began to make a habit of turning away from drilling on his patient’s teeth to look up at the clock with as much drama as one could muster without saying a word – it roughly translated into “5 minutes late, and yes I’m watching". My thoughts on it, sorry my kid needed to take a shit upon leaving the house. THIS was even after I had negotiated and they had agreed to allow me a flex start time, they knew my position was not a time dependant job. Keep in mind this is an office that I consulted for, managed and navigated from what I saw as an under achieving gold mine of under one million to well over two. Imagine how I felt having that balding little fuckwad clocking me. The pettiness that reverberated through my support community towards the schleppy shvance was astounding.

Now, all this is after the numbness in my feet had occurred and reoccurred at the office, which began around the time the DIPWAD doctor I worked for began accusing me of turning his staff against birthday cake (no, I'm not kidding) and demanding I get into his office cuz he was “really pissed off” – I kid you not. The fact that I brought to his attention that staff were complaining that he had begun to take x-rays and freezing the wrong quadrant may have been a deeper indication as to what he may have been experiencing, but nonetheless, this is my story. My doctor didn’t fool around, he sent me directly for blood tests. His concern was Lou Gerig’s disease or MS. Being that my best buddy died of MS complications eight years prior, only freaked me out just a little bit more. Long story short, all was well in those categories, but my stress was off the charts.

Victim? I don't think so. I stood up for myself and called it when I saw the monkey shit flyin’. The rest I chaulked up as what could either go down in history as the biggest waste of my time, fighting for a shit sandwich OR my quickest (not easiest) most effective way out of what had turned sour and into a new healthier sweeter new world.

So. I have a job again. I also have pineapple and almonds and other healthy goodies back in my house! The appearance of my skin is even coming back to normal. The long and short of it, my health, which I was really concerned about, so much so I was taking all sorts of new vitamins and special veggie drinks to ward off the stress….Such typical traits of the Virgo girl. Yeah, a little high maintance....

So yes, SOMETIMES LIFE SERVES YOU LEMONS, but it's short lived and if you're any kind of PIRATE ....

You SUCK the damn lemons so ya don't get scurvy and you're BLOODY THANKFUL FOR THEM!!!

ARRRRRRG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Give It Like You're Gonna Get It

Dave over at Blogography has it right, recognizing October as Breast Cancer Awareness Month. So, you're stuck with the pink for now. Besides I like "my girls" and I like my life just fine. So if you're gonna give it, give it like you're gonna get it.

I'm working on sharing some other things about myself here. Not something I'm so good at sometimes. Right now, I'll share that I'm chowing down on the best damn chilli going. I do like to cook.

"The Boss" is back for the afternoon. In place of a high chair, linking two climbing slings together works perfectly to bind a child into a kitchen chair. Perfectly acceptable providing you know how to tie the knot. Lucky for her, I do, and luckily for us, she was cooperative anchored in there all nice and snug.

Completely fed up with waiting for the job offer to appear I called the Branch Manager this morning and told him I needed to plan. Enough is enough. He told me I'd have the offer by tomorrow. While I believe in waiting for something good, and even though I do have my sites set, quite frankly, I'm tired of dicking around.

I'm a woman, I can be emotional like that from time to time. Prime time to book a day of paint ball. Nothing better than shooting at something you've taken aim at. I'm feeling down right fit to be tied today.

From my "Girl's Only" playlist, Sheryl Crow's "Strong Enough To Be My Man", Sarah MacLaughlin "I Will Remember You" and Terri Clark's "Girls Lie Too" play out. Like it or not, here I am. Life has taken it's one kick at this cat and stretched me to my limit.

What doesn't kill you...

For the rest of you.... I'll always have Paris, a nice place to visit, wouldn't want to live there...you know how it goes. Here's one of my favourite pics, simply because I envisioned the picture, I knew what I wanted to see and I made it happen steady as can be with my father's beautiful old Tripod.

*Click on it to make it all BIG and yummy.*

Norah Jones says is best...

Come Away With Me,

Nancy


















Paris - April 2005