Friday, January 05, 2007

Omar's Cartoon

Atack of the rolling snowman

BIG eyes and smally!

Its all by: (Omar)

want to build a snowman


its gona fall!

uh oh!

ah! Help!


the snowball hit Big eyes and smally! :(

(yes that is the Parliment Buildings)

goodbye city of Ottwa!

(followed by mass destruction)

The End

Omar draws steady at Daycare. I have kept every single thing he's done and trust me, he's done A LOT. They saw his cartoon today and were so impressed that they offered him a monthly spot in their newletter. Oh glory days!

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Nothing to see here. Keep moving. Stay to the right. Thank you!

Pity Party! All join in!!!

A) I’m still ill and deathly tired. I left the house yesterday for the first time since New Year’s Day.
B) I’ve been working my tail feathers off here at home in between advil and blogger distractions. Made major ground, but it was KILLER.
C) Only three months into this new job and I have a mountain of organizing, preparing, goal setting, reading and presenting to get ready for because I want to be back seeing clients as of MONDAY and for the entire week.
D) I put in a full day in at the office today in an attempt to get done that which I couldn’t achieve at home.
E) Omar helped me remove the Christmas tree decorations last night, the tree when out now there are pine needles literally ALL OVER THE PLACE.
F) The hamster cage is dismantled on the kitchen floor. She’s in her “hamster car”, I’m EXHAUSTED and I need to get Omar packed for his dad’s and hockey tomorrow.
G) I have a MOUNTAIN of Christmas garbage that needs to go to the curb TONIGHT.
H) I have a TON on Christmas decorations to put away.
I) I need to wax.
J) There is laundry to fold. There’s dishes in the sink.
K) My sense of humor is somewhere under a rock.

That’s what’s NOT done. Here’s what IS done:

A) Beds are clean and good to go.
B) Bathrooms are clean.
C) Groceries are done.
D) Dog has been bathed. (I nearly stopped breathing due to my cold & asthma last night getting that one done…)
E) Laundry is clean (just needs to be folded)

F) There's always time for air hockey and billiards :)

Oh GOD what else?! Someone throw me a frickin’ bone! Tell me it will all be better in the morning. Tell me my throat will feel better! Tell me I’ll be ready for Monday! Tell me CANADA will kick ass in hockey! SOMEONE ! ANYONE! PLEASE!

Ok. I’ve gotta deal with the rodent.

Sweet Jesus help the single mom.


Thursday, January 04, 2007

Utter Confusion

I was going to write about how confused I am after watching the ho-hum animated movie BARNYARD with my niece and son on New Years Eve. I always thought cows, the ones that have utters, nipples and produce milk were female. In the movie, they're boy cows, with utters & nipples. Perhaps this is a sign of the times or a glimpse of things to come or maybe I've misunderstood all these years. I'm not sure, but I'll keep an open mind and as Ben says, I'll be the bigger cow.

Instead I bring you this from "The Jeepers" family:

Effects of Drugs and Alcohol on Spiders

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Monday, January 01, 2007

Lil' Trip and Fall

The cold isn't letting up much. Drugs. Drugs are good. Drugs can be your friend. Anything to keep life moving and lift the heaviness in my head. Advil cold & sinus every 4hrs - the pain in my throat woke me up at 5am. Despite my bout with illness, life has been anything but dull. I've experienced dull, then dull took a long walk on a short pier ... a ... very ... short ... pier. Short. Short like Lord Farquod short. Heck, no dull life here. I've been on the edge of my seat for most of it recently. ... For example ... The call to poison control the other night. Or maybe I'll reflect back to the instant replays of watching Omar falling, smacking, banging and yes, the poisoning threat. AND, and there was the nearly naked roll in the snow last night. I've got pictures! I'm not posting them!

If I could actually think clearly enough to articulate some of it, I'd be waaaay ahead of the game. The bright side of being sick is I've caught up on my reading. John Grisham's 'The Client' had been shelved for far too long and now, well it's been opening wide for me lately.

You know, I can only suspect that he's growing again. Omar I mean. It seems that he gets clumsy with every growth spurt. Today he totally bit it. My niece, Omar and I headed out with bird seed in tow to a nearby nature trail. The little birdies are sooo cute, they land right on your hand....So yeah, the kids begin pelting me with snowballs on the last stretch of the trail, I take cover behind a tree and Omar tries to out maneuver me and does a face dive into the mud on the trail. After the bo-bo's are checked, the tears are wiped I took a good look at the kid ~ wadda MESS! Mud from ear to tail. Poor lil gaffer.

If it's not that, it's toe stubbing & head whacking. Did I mention having to call poison control? Yeah! On the evening ride home from the country, Omar's in his car seat in the back hooked up to his
Massively Mini Media Player when suddenly from he breaks the silence grievously asking "Mawm.......Is the stuff inside that plastic thing poison?" Jeeeeez. Santa's elves apparently supply MEC, because the old fat guy dropped
one of these in his stocking. The backing must have busted off while we were sledding and Omar was pretending it was a mouth thermometer and was sucking on it or bit on it or something and swallowed some of the red stuff. A story I was only able to draw out of him through bawling tears on the side of the highway through the backseat window in the black of night while I search through the snow with a flashlight (see, he flung the offending object out the window) while he's swishing and spitting copious amounts of water out the window narrowly missing me and CRYING. Sigh. BIG sigh.

Despite the fact that I called Grandpa and told Omar that I've confirmed it's probably only alcohol inside, he was determined to question me for the next 25 minutes about what we'll do if it is poison, would he die, could he die, "mom I'm scared"...and so on and so forth. I'm not sure that the soothing confident comfort tone I adopted or my request "I really need you to calm down Omar, OK, everything's gonna be alright, mom's gonna take care of you....Honey, did you swallow it or was it just in your mouth?" "I THINK I SWALLOWED SOOOOOOMMMMMEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ...Insert more bawling. The only thing that actually calmed him down was me telling the story about the time when I was his age and splashed liquid HEAT into my eyes. I think the story might have actually made him laugh...

There's more. But I don't have the heart to write it out; besides, I have a novel calling my name. Let's all pray that he'll make it to eight with no broken bones...Or stomach pumping.

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Sunday, December 31, 2006

Why Me.

Omar and I head out to get a movie for New Years Eve and some munchies, oh, and some very much needed cold medicine. My niece is coming over and we're gonna play air hockey or I'll die on the couch while they play air hockey while I conjure up and summon in the next decade of pain.

I digress, the grocery store. I had the course laid out, IN & OUT, simple and quick. Just as I took a turn down the wrong isle memorized and drawn by the hideous spectacle that is a red head's really bad dye job and long black roots. I decide to continue down the isle and low and behold, if my eyes don't deceive me, there is my ex boyfriend. Weird. So far from home. In my - MY grocery store. How dare he shop at MY grocery store!! Even more odd was that something made me think about him right before I went into the store. Curse me and my bulletproof intuition.

We chatted for a moment, he gave me a hug, (since I gave him my last cold when we first started dating, I though it ironic to give him another *I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish*), you look good he says - so do you I say all stubbed ub, how was my Christmas, what did I do...Country I say with a smile, he looks too happy and croons staring at me all starry eyed "it must have been beautiful", yeah it was (you might have known if you hadn't broken up with me), he asked about my new job, I tell him it's good ~ a little overwhelming - short notice travel stuff & getting started, he offered some words of encouragement, I ask him about his new job and introduce him to Omar who's wearing his Heelys and dizzying me spinning circles around us, I ask him about his kids, they had just left back to BC. I'm glad you saw me and said hi he says, he was looking for plum sauce and I'm hating him more and more every second for looking completely adorable. I say something stupid like they probably have an Asian isle…(that maybe he could go get lost down)….. Good seeing you. Yeah, yeah, good seeing you too (seeing your run out of air). Then we go our separate ways. Moments before I thought I'd burst into flames right thenand there, (my core temperature has risen at an ungodly rate) or pass out, either of which would have been just the note I would expect to finish 2006 in. This was even more awkward than the time Omar and I were with my mom down at the park and bumped into Omar's Dad out on a rollerblading date. Blech. Ackward. Off the charts. Why me. I'm sure I'm being cursed for not fulfilling my demonic quota for Satan as penance for living here on this hellhole called Earth.

On my way out of the store, I see he's with the brassy red head with the bad dye job. HA! HA! Of course he is, there is a God. Thankfully I was looking quite fetching with flowing blond locks and flowing red nose. I probably looked like Rudolph with a blond wig. I hate everyone. I guess it did seem a bit odd that his answer when I asked what brought him to the grocery store in my neck of the woods "picking up party supplies" was better than "Oh, boffing one of your neighbours".

Happy New Whore Everyone!

Excuse me while I go and die.

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Country Livin' Part THREE

There's something truly magical about being up in the country. I lose track of all sense of time and switch over to the automatic pilot of play. It's sheer genius. So, naturally, my family are all shuffling me around to house after house of what's for sale up there. Get me a pitchfork; I think it's all over for me. I might end up looking like one of these women!

I tried my hardest to get a not-so blurry picture of the neighbor up on his flying machine. My brother told me to head out for a ride with him, but there was no way in hell I was going up on that thing. "I did it" wasn't quite incentive I needed. Instead, I give you the kids on a snowmobile. Welcome to redneck country!

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Country Livin' Part TWO

Watching movies was more the speed of the house. Mission Impossible III was excellent, Waist Deep ~ not what I'd normally choose to watch, but it was pretty good. Even got to watch Honey I Shrunk the Kids. Eventually I mustered up the energy to figure out how to put this gingerbread house together. It required using melted sugar, which heats to the close proximity of BOILING HOT LAVA. I took the Holmes on Homes (LOVE that guy " "If you're going to do something, do it right the first time" words I've heard time and time again from MY father) approach when building and had the kids decorate. Here we feature Omar's side of the house with some candies already mysteriously missing and yes, those are gummy bear shutters. This is the final product, note the stain glass windows (melted hard candies) and areas where the sugar used as binding leeched through the icing sugar snow making it look just like the dogs had peed on our little sugar shack, so naturally I added some poo piles of chocolate. Hey, I heard that if I hadn't grown up by the time I was fifty, I didn't have to, so there!

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